This article is published in the Jan 2012 edition of Inner Self.

BEING WOMAN…

Women Weaving the Web

Many traditions speak of the return of the Goddess, the Shekinah, or the Divine Feminine.  Consider the prophecy of White Buffalo Calf Woman who came to the Lakota people to show them the right way and whose return was signalled by the birth of the white buffalo. Consider the book of Revelations and the vision of the Sophia, the Divine Feminine, crowned in the glory of the stars. Consider the American Indian prophecy that states, “When the wisdom of the grandmothers is heard there will be peace.”  A grandmother who has weathered the many seasons of life, who has birthed children and held grandchildren has wisdom and knows the value of life.  A personal sorrow this year has been the death of my beloved grandmother.  With her passing, though, I feel her within me; a reminder to seek this wise one within and listen to her.

This voice of my inner self, my intuition, has led me on a path that my mind could never have predicted or created.  I am truly exploring and remembering what it is to be a woman, drawing from the strength of generations before me, and healing for myself and ancestors what they could not heal.  I am learning that to truly nurture and love others, I must first honour and love myself.  I am discovering that it is my inner union with myself and creation that is the foundation for my existence.  I have found that the alchemical marriage of the masculine and feminine energies is within my own being.  I have seen that my awareness is beyond any concept of gender.  I have discovered being a woman is something we women are all dreaming together.

A powerful archetype for me is Grandmother Spider. She reminds us of the sacredness and interconnectedness of all life. Her threads look fragile but are stronger than steel.  Her daily devotion is to reweave the web, repairing and tending to her creation.  Her web is the web of life: all creation is interwoven. We are interdependent with earth, plant, and animal kingdoms and each other. All are our relatives. She reminds us that we are not alone, and our unity is our strength.

It has been a joy this year to connect with community by attending women’s gatherings and circles. I have found strength in community. I have sat with Elders of many races to listen, just as I sit with myself in stillness, to listen to the voice of the wise one within. I believe, as many prophecies state, that we are at the threshold of a great change, a crossroads.  I believe that we are co-creating this together and that this may be a peaceful, graceful transition, if we wish.  Our prayers, our love and intentions are powerful.  We women are dreamers and weavers. It is time for us to dream together this new world in recognition of the oneness and sacredness of all life, for the good of generations to come.

AUTHOR BIO:

Gillian Rayner is one of 9 passionate women who volunteer on the organising committee of Being Woman, an annual non-profit women’s gathering on the Sunshine Coast: www.beingwoman.com.au. Gillian loves music, art, craft, writing, nature, crystal healing, working with children in Steiner Education, Holistic Counselling, and is a Tantric Heart Practitioner.  Contact: gillian.is.love@gmail.com; www.facebook.com/Alchemical.Threads.Designs

By: Gillian

Being Woman…hearing the call

By Gillian Rayner

I stood in circle with over 80 women. This closing ceremony of a full and rich women’s gathering was a moment I had been anticipating all weekend. I felt one with other women and nourished by their sisterhood.  After a weekend of transformative workshops and ceremony I felt deep and full and connected. First Circle, the four women who had organised and co-created the gathering, walked in the centre of our circle, holding the basket that represents Being Woman…the infinite creative power of women, our ability to hold and give birth.  At this moment, those women who felt the call were invited to step up and take the basket: a commitment to a year of personal inner work and to organise the gathering for 2012 as a volunteer on First Circle.  My heart was thumping. I asked myself, “Am I ready to step forward and hold that basket?” I witnessed my beating heart and my mind’s dialogue with its doubts and questions. However, my intuition was guiding me: I was feeling a powerful call beyond logic.  She, the Goddess within, was calling me. I had felt that call from the moment I had seen the beautiful art work for Being Woman…  Experience has taught me to trust my intuition and act upon that guidance.  I stepped forward to take that basket, with 8 other brave and passionate women and that moment of courage has changed my life.

Heeding the clarion call of the inner self takes courage as it often leads to an unknown road with are no visible sign posts, only the voice of the inner guide to navigate by. I have been developing a romance with the unknown, with the mystery, remembering to trust my inner self to guide me. This year the call has led me as far as Central Australia, on a pilgrimage to Uluru, and home to the heart. On an inner level, the unexplored terrain of my own soul has called me as strongly, to face my demons and find the jewels within. I have been called to face the desert of the unloved within me, to bring forth the life-giving waters of self-love and self-acceptance. I have discovered it is within my own heart that the alchemical marriage of the god and goddess takes place. To journey within leads to inner union, to wholeness, and an awareness that transcends gender. Having glimpsed this, I am called to embody and live this deeply, as my truth.

This year, following the call has woven me closely together with a group of women deeply committed to building community, to sisterhood and to journeying deeply within to embody and act from our authentic selves. From this passion and dedication is birthed Being Woman… 2012. The theme of this year’s gathering, “I am deepening in Union” speaks of us deeply connecting with our essential selves, our earth, to each other. It speaks too of the inner marriage of our masculine and feminine aspects to embody inner wholeness, inner union. We offer Being Woman… and extend our invitation to you, if you too are called…

Being Woman … A Woman’s Gathering – I am deepening in union
2 – 4 March 2012
Ewan Maddock Dam
Sunshine Coast
To register you place email: bookings@beingwoman.com.au
www.beingwoman.com.au

By: Gillian Rayner

Come sit at My Hearth….I will tend the Fire as you listen to this Grandmothers Story for I have much to share and It Is Time..

I am the Mother of three beautiful children; two daughters and a son all in adulthood now. I am the Grandmother of four…three Grandsons and one Granddaughter…divine little souls. I have travelled through the tunnel that all Women face at a later time in their life… the Rites of Passage; the Death of the Biological Mother and the Birth of the Cosmological Mother to emerge Full to the brim with Life..Alive..Standing before you in My Full Beauty, My Open and Loving Heart  and My Divine Presence.

I carry the Wisdom of the Elders  in my bones and the Teachings of those that have come before me in my DNA. I am She Who Knows; She Who Hears the Whisperings of Change that come on the Wind, the Messages from the Animal Kingdom that are there for us to see each day if we would only take time to stop and take notice. Grandmother Rock speaks to me from her Ancient Heart and Mother Gaia holds me in Her Arms; nourishing me, sustaining me, nurturing me with all Her Unconditional Love.

I am a Woman of 59 years and have travelled a long road to be here in this moment; a road that many of whom who do not hold  the Strength & Courage, the Heart of Hope, Faith and Trust as I do…would not have survived this journey… would have given up years ago.

Know that I have been through the Fires of Initiation, the Dark Night of the Soul…as I continued the intense Struggle and Battle against the supposed Enemy Without for many years. I did not feel really and truly safe amongst humans; a fear that I carried deep within my core being from birth which created a lifetime of being a Victim.

From a childhood of abuse and a total lack of love within the family home. Being such a sensitive soul I was angry, I was hurting, I was bewildered, I was confused, I was in constant Fight or Flight mode….not in my Body fully anchored into the core of Mother Earth.  And I was so self-righteous continually having to prove I was right and they were wrong….. Unconscious yet I thought I was Conscious!!!

Many times I have been on my knees, crushed by the betrayal, the lies and deceit of those that I thought were my Sisters, my brothers, my Family and Loved Ones. Unaware that the Real Enemy lay within and  it was this core issue that magnetised these people and situations to me in the first place and they were only acting out a part in My Play of Life…that I had the Starring Role and could rewrite the script anytime as I was the Producer and the Director also.

I thought I knew the true meaning of Love …I did not know. Many a time I fell in love only to destroy the very thing that I once loved. I have hurt many in my time in the name of love. I have broken several hearts along the way including my own. I have also been the betrayer thinking I was doing it in the name of justice. All that I pointed my finger at outside of me was within me. Thus during this time My Pure Innocent Trusting Heart was broken and torn asunder to the point that I was actually feeling physical pain in my heart as I continued to do this battle dance. I did not know the meaning of Surrender.

I have battled Chronic Fatigue, Ross River Fever and other debilitating illnesses. There were times when I seriously considered leaving this Planet as I could not take any more Pain…emotional, mental and physical. However Time and Time again I picked myself up, dusted myself off and continued to Walk this Path that I came into this Incarnation to do.

I have witnessed the death of my beautiful younger brother aged 44 to cancer; my friend, my confidante, my hero. My Heart broke big time with his passing…it changed me..a part of me died with him.  I always thought we would be sitting together in our Elder years on the front porch playing guitar and singing songs together.

My second daughter gave birth to her first child at 17  at a time when I was ready to fly the coup and fulfill my dream of being a Gypsy traveling the world. “Im too young to be Grandmother” I implored. However that soon changed with the birth of my first grandchild. Then 15 mths later she had open heart surgery only to have a needle left in her heart by the surgeon, they opened her up again removed the needle  but overlooked a nick in her heart. To witness and hear my beautiful daughter crying and calling out as they took her into theater for the third time “I dont want to die Mum I want to to live for my son” was every parents nightmare come true.

Yet I did not give up nor give in,  I could not, would not. As my daughter was on the table in operating theater I was outside the hospital  on a grassy strip walking around and around in a circle calling in her Guides, The Archangels, the Psychic surgeons, everyone and everything to support her. Although I was totally exhausted, having just come down with Ross River Fever a month before, with every ounce of strength left in me I continued to circle and circle. I did not falter, change my pace for over 30 minutes as I knew deep deep within my being that I was holding her heartbeat.  It was late at night and had anyone come across me they would have thought me a mad woman..calling out, singing, chanting. Then all of a sudden I knew that all was well but continued to circle singing thanks and gratitude. Only later to find out that they did lose her on the table…and wondered for a long time would she still be with us had I not held the Faith and Trust in what I was doing.

But know too that I have experienced deep profound Joy in my time. Magical times that have brought tears to my eyes and down my cheeks from sheer pleasure.

Like the Mysterious Miracle of Life….when I held my babies after giving birth.. Also being present at the births of two of my beautiful grandsons; a rare Gift that I will always treasure and hold dear to my Heart. At the birth of the second grandson, the midwife handed me the gloves and allowed me to birth him…I held his head as it emerged from the birth canal, supporting it, tenderly wiping his face whilst we waited for the next contraction that would see him fully out of the womb. I held him in my hands and gently lifted his body onto that of his mother and eventually cut the cord. Do you know that the cord is hard and grissly and takes a bit of pressure with the scissors to severe it???  I did not know this I had always imagined it to be soft and pliable.

Had I left the Planet I would not have been here to receive these incredible God/Goddess given Gifts.

I now walk the Path of Love and Acceptance knowing that my life is a Divine Gift and Blessing, that each breath I take is Precious. Holding deep Love for myself …warts and all…and the Acceptance of all that has been in my life and the Teachings that came with each step. Sure there are still those that choose to condemn me for standing in my Truth, for not kowtowing and pretending to be something else so that I fit in with their perception of truth. But I no longer allow these people starring roles in my script of Life by taking on their judgments and false accusations that is their script….just send them Love and more Love.

I have now come fully into my body… anchored firmly into the Heart of Mother Earth…fully Present in the Truth of All That Is and That which I AM. Trusting my inner wise woman’s messages,  not seeking answers without but from within. Knowing I am deeply Loved and supported  by many both in the physical and the spiritual realms…I AM Loved beyond measure.

Shakona Rose

By: Shakona Rose

Despite my hard earned stillness of mind, extraordinary level of awareness, good karma, purification rituals, hard-core meditation practice, devotional prayer, angels, guides and endless therapists and healers I’d seen over the years… and despite my quest for ever higher levels of consciousness and Truth, two years ago I found myself in a very dark place…

I had started my own business in health and wellness and I was failing. I watched myself move from extraordinary peaks of elation when I had a “good” month to the pits of despair where no matter how hard I worked, how much expert advice I paid for and applied diligently and no matter how many hours I put in, I still wasn’t making any money. I tried everything, read every book, attended every seminar and educated myself madly. I found myself obsessed with my work and my problems, comparing myself with others and always, always coming up lacking. I was neglecting my man, neglecting my body and neglecting my Self in almost every possible way. I was hard, shut down, cynical, divorced from my senses and seeing only the external world. I knew this wasn’t who I really was but I couldn’t seem to turn it off. I had no time to honour the unseen, no sense of reverence for the mystery and magic of life and no connection with what was natural and authentic to me as Woman. Every day was filled with trying and effort to be something I was not, to be successful, to BE something. 

By: Susan

After attending “The Joining” gathering for a couple of years I knew about the “Being Woman” gathering, however I had never been. I had been spending most of my time trying to work on my marriage which was falling apart, and had neglected myself as a Woman, and the connections I had with other women. After a painful separation from my husband and eventual divorce, I found myself at the same breathwork workshop as the committee members of “Being Woman 2011″. We instantly bonded and they asked me, and my close friend who was also at the workshop with me, if we would join them on the First Circle committee – as there were only TWO of them, and they couldn’t possibly create the gathering with such a small committee. My body said an instant “YES”! And since then I haven’t looked back.

Ten months of INTENSE inner work was my journey as a Being Woman First Circle committee member. As our committment to First Circle we do an inner work session each month throughout our term on committee. However, our lives were in such turmoil in terms of divorces, separations, financial hardships etc that EVERY DAY was an inner work! I was blessed to be living with one of my fellow First Circle members throughout our journey – and there was not ONE emotional issue that we left unprocessed.

We bared ourselves emotionally to each other like we had never before. We owned our vulnerabilities, our projections, our pain and our joy. And I felt for the first time in my life that I could trust women. We worked through elements of womanhood that are so sensitive to speak about – such as competition, jealousy and betrayal amongst women; comparing ourselves to each other all the time; judging one another and ourselves, and our issues with our own mothers in that we had never felt loved, appreciated or supported – in fact many of us were mothers to our own mothers. These issues had prevented me from trusting myself, and from trusting other women, which led me to seek emotional sustenance from men. I learnt that it is impossible for a woman to have ALL of her emotional needs met from her man – and nor should she attempt to. This is something I had done in my marriage – and it didn’t work.

Our inner work was SO intense that we wondered at times whether or not we would actually be able to run the Being Woman gathering! It was really tough finding time and energy to complete the tasks we had to complete, but we did it. And “Being Woman 2011″ was a beautiful gathering. I felt so proud of myself – I had finally COMPLETED something!! Many projects in my life had been started and never finished, and this one I saw through to the end, and what an amazing gift it was to see the women who attended and what they gained from the experience. I was proud of my committee members too – we had been through the toughest times of our lives during the preparation of Being Woman 2011 – and our inner work flowed out to all who attended.

It is my intention that Women all around the world realise how important their relationship with other women is. When we can heal our wounds around our mothers, and other women in our lives, and truly come together as ONE we can change the world to one of peace, love and harmony. We are Sisters walking this Earth together. Let us support each other, love one another and BE the change we wish to see in this world.

By: Nina Stephenson

BEING WOMAN FESTIVALS – A PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE

In March of 2009 I was invited as a participant to my first Being Woman Festival and at the end of the festival, I felt inspired to offer my services as a support person- second circle sister – for the organizing committee of the following year’s festival. It turned out to be quite a journey. Even though the festival is a shared experience and is organized collectively, there is often one person, who initially hands you the keys, and that person, in my case, was Nadia.

Let me tell you a little about Nadia, who has been involved with Being Woman Festivals almost from the very beginning – not quite from conception through gestation and birthing – but definitely through lactation, through the weaning process and the early developmental years and into what could now be termed the tweens. Nadia is a remarkable person of great warmth and presence, of integrity, and personal power. She is a single mum. She is a social worker. She also runs her own business. She is one of the co-creative founders of the Humandala project and has facilitated the organization of many such humandalas over the years. She has great spiritual wisdom and insight. She is finely attuned to the rhythms of the earth and the moon as many women naturally are and has a strong connection with the indigenous people of this land although she was born in France. Nadia is just one of the many remarkable women whom you will meet if you attend a Being Woman Festival, someone who nurtures and nourishes and holds the energy for the Being Woman process, which is so much more than just a festival.

Through Nadia I was invited to meet with the Elders of the “third circle” who collectively hold the energy and intention for each year’s festival. It was already late in the year and I had not had much previous involvement with Being Woman members other than to facilitate a healing and dreaming circle for the “first circle women” who volunteer their services for the much of the practical organizational aspects of the festival. This was very warmly received and it was wonderful to spend a bit of time in the company of such beautiful and dynamic younger women. The elders were meeting to discuss ideas for the opening and closing ceremonies for the forthcoming festival and I must admit I felt a little bit out of my depth, perhaps not quite ready to take onboard the role of elder. I did however have a strong feeling to go and visit the new site where the festival was to be held and make my acquaintances with the Spirits of the land, so we set a date and time to collectively do this.

Nadia and I arrived first and we both received clear guidance that something was very much amiss with the energies of the land and that the earth here needed healing and cleansing. We sang a Spirit song to connect with the souls of those who had died here in pain and trauma – not all that long ago I was told. The elders arrived not long afterward and amongst many other things we talked about the need for healing for these souls still trapped here, both the victims and the perpetrators. The Being Woman Festival is blessed to have the active support of local indigenous female elders and elders of all colour and backgrounds. Together we walked the land, feeling the energies as we went, and the guidance of Spirit. When we came to the crossing at the creek, the energy became quite intense and I began to shake as I felt fear and trauma release through my energy field and one of the elders began to vomit and retch – a shamanic way of releasing intense negative energy. I sensed the presence of some young women of this land who had been raped and murdered and also the earthbound soul of the man who had done this. At this stage we had less than a week before the festival was to begin and there was still more cleansing and purification of the land needed.

I arrived at the Festival on the Friday afternoon and was excited to take part in the finalization of plans for the opening ceremony. It was a very beautiful experience and took place outdoors in the moonlight. Imagine if you will, a ribbon of 80 women, all holding hands, and weaving their way through the park like landscape, lit up with lanterns and fairy lights and  studded with majestic gums trees that towered up into the starlit sky. One by one we payed our respects to the elementals, as we weaved our way through spaces lovingly created by the Elders to honour the earth, the wind, the water, and the fire. Then we gathered in a circle to welcome each other home to our hearts and into the loving embrace of the Spirits and of Mother Earth.

The next morning I woke up feeling horribly ill. My intuition told me there was negative energy still to clear for the land but it had overwhelmed me before I had the chance to do anything and I was sick for much of that day. I had a workshop scheduled for the afternoon to be held outdoors but I was still quite unwell. Luckily it began to rain right on time for my workshop so only two people turned up. After some sharing we decided to be spontaneous and go for a swim in the creek in the rain instead of a workshop. For many years I have referred to the waters of the rain, the rivers and ocean as Grandmother Ocean in the Native American tradition, and we had that energy with us in spades that day. I truly did feel that the Grandmothers came to me in my hour of need that day to bless me and to heal me. I began to get better.

That night we collectively put on a concert, a series of “Sister Acts” for each other’s enjoyment and there was much laughter and hilarity and fun. Even though I retired early, I did not sleep. My guides kept me awake for much of the night preparing for my 6:00am workshop on Chakra and Lightbody activations. I was also told that we were clearing the energy of the land and opening up a portal of light to bring the higher frequencies through from the Central Sun and the Stars for beloved Gaia. Given the poor attendance from the day before at my previous workshop, I was absolutely gobsmacked and deeply humbled when 36 women took the trouble to get out of bed at 6:00am in the morning to attend my workshop. It was a truly awesome experience. As we collectively got more and more into the tonings (of the seed syllables) I began to hear all sorts of beautiful Angelic voices coming through and the loving presence of many Divine Beings. It was only an hour’s workshop but many women kept coming up to me through the rest of the day telling me how profoundly affected they were by that experience. I decided to treat myself to a massage after that from one of the several women who volunteered their skills and talents in the healing tent. I also attended an excellent workshop by Kate Bardzo on Zen-Shiatsu. All too soon it was time for the closing ceremony as we gathered together in the main hall for prayers of gratitude, love, and celebration of what it means to be a woman in today’s rapidly changing world.

So what did I learn and receive from my Being Woman experience?  In the short space of 36 hours I had been through incredible lows and highs, I had gone through stages of feeling completely alone in my journey to being almost swamped in love and affection, and I had come through this festival with a newfound sense of self- respect for my own personal power. Like many modern day women, I have learnt to become strong and independent and self-sufficient, and indeed that is part and parcel of the Soul’s journey, to learn to go direct to the Source of our own power, wisdom, love, and truth, etc. However, the journey is not really complete until we come back together again within the sacred circle.

 I see us all as women of all ages, colours, and race, standing in a sacred circle in an ancient Arcadian setting. Perhaps we are holding hands as the Sylphs and Naiads adorn us each with garlands of flowers and sing through us in the language of love. We epitomise all that is beautiful in woman – grace, compassion, sensitivity, intuition, creativity, forbearance and nurturance. I see us embrace and gently kiss as we part company to go our separate ways on our quest for the divine masculine qualities- we are searching for strength, courage, leadership, discipline, practicality, and new ideas. Many aeons and ages pass, as we passage through the fires and travails of many initiations, but at last I see us gathering together again. How joyful it is to receive each other back into the embrace of the sacred circle once more, to stand as equals on the sacred earth. We are excited about our newfound discoveries, eager to share and exchange ideas and experiences. Together we make the whole. Together we co-create the new. Together we are birthing a whole new way of Being Woman.

Written by Debbie Greenwood 

By: Debbie Greenwood

Hi Beautiful Being Women,

I just wanted to share a little blessing that I have recently experienced…. I was introduced to ‘Being Woman’ at the end of 2010 by a dear friend after she had attended ‘The Joining’.

I was the first woman to book in to the March 2011 weekend, and coaxed a good friend to come along with me.

For many months prior to this I had been in quite a lot of pain around my relationship, just fed up with things not growing and feeling quite unloved and unseen.

So, during the weekend I attended many workshops, and several of them seemed to be pointing me towards opening my heart and learning more about the masculine and feminine energies/essences.  At one circle, when asked to place something sacred into the centre alter I saw another woman put what looked like her wedding ring into the centre, this stirred me deeply and resonated as something I could also do, so as with many things over that weekend ‘I just did it’.

I attended one particular workshop by Cynthia Connop, and learned about her work (and David Deida’s books) and Living Love for Couples and Singles weekends, and tucked the info away for later.  …. Lucky for me, later came this past weekend (30 & 31 July) my husband and myself attended a transformative weekend workshop, it’s early days I know, but the gifts and depth of the weekend were so inspiring and unique to any I have done before, especially since it was the first workshop I have attended with my partner.

We both enjoyed it very much, and I have renewed faith in our togetherness, and feel very grateful to women and men of The Joining and Being Woman and the like who bravely present us with powerful tools for change.

Much love

Denise.

By: Denise Daffara